Matched With Her Cowboy Billionaire Ex-Fiance Page 13

  Taylor dropped her gaze to the table again. She tried blocking out the simplistic surroundings, the irritating pull of awareness that was always there when she was around Roman, the pain that seemed ever-present anymore. “My mom left my dad. She said it had nothing to do with us girls, but… she won’t answer phone calls, won’t reply to texts or emails. Nothing. It’s like we don’t exist any longer.” Heaven help her, Taylor had tried over and over. She wasn’t sure what she expected, but the last email had been embarrassing as Taylor had begged for something, anything from her mom.

  She couldn’t handle anymore pain.

  Roman sighed, resting his hand on the table and then running his free hand through his thick hair. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t heard that about your mother. I… I guess I understand why you’d want to protect yourself.” He stared at her, his gaze searching for something she wasn’t sure he would find.

  He slid from the booth and grabbed a spare seat a couple tables over and then moved it to sit at the edge of their small table as he pushed himself closer to Taylor.

  She shifted on her seat but kept her eyes on him. What was he going to do? Why was he moving closer to her? She’d just told him to focus on Olivia. She shook her head, setting her fork on the table. People would see and they’d be in trouble.

  Taylor glanced around at the sparse customers. “Roman, I’m serious. We aren’t going to go anywhere. I don’t want to be your friend.” She was definitely going to burn in a warm southern climate for all the lies she was telling others as well as herself.

  “I don’t believe you.” Roman leaned forward, staring at her, trapping her in the enigmatic depths of his eyes.

  “Why not? I mean…” Taylor cleared her throat. “Why don’t you believe me? Don’t you think you hurt me? Because, trust me, you definitely hurt me.”

  “I have no doubt I hurt you. I hurt a lot of people.” He studied her. “Come here. I want to show you something.” He glanced around, standing from the chair and holding out his hand. Was he looking for someone who was watching them? Watching him? He was a face in town and not just because he was a Wilson, not because he was a contestant or a matchmaker, but also because he was a good-looking man who wasn’t attached. He had appeal to a lot of women who came to Mistletoe, Montana looking for love.

  Taylor glanced at her pie and then back up at him.

  He offered a side-smile. “They’ll still be here when we get back. I promise.” He beckoned for her to follow him.

  Without too much hesitation, she stood, following him from the front of the café to the side hall that led to the employee area and bathrooms. The hallway was empty.

  Stopping and turning to face her, Roman rested his hands on her waist and stared down at her, taking her breath away. “Let me be clear, Taylor. I didn’t leave because of you. You’re not the problem. I left because… I have my own reasons and they weren’t you. If anything, you’re the reason I stayed as long as I did. Do you understand?” He studied her as he waited for an answer.

  She couldn’t believe him. They were just words. He’d still left. “But if it wasn’t me, then why were you able to get married? It had to be me.” Why didn’t he understand what she was saying?

  He shook his head, his eyes darkening as his thumb moved up and down on her waist, distracting her from what they were talking about. “You didn’t ask why my marriage failed. I’ve never known anyone to make me feel the way you do… even from ten-thousand miles away. My marriage failed because she wasn’t you. I set our marriage up to fail because I think I wanted a reason to come back here and face you.”

  He reached up and brushed her hair from her cheek, his touch electrifying with its simplicity. “I was hoping you would be married and settled down with kids or something, so I could be justified in wallowing in my misery. But you’re not. You’re just as amazing as you’ve ever been but you… you’re so much more, too.” He bent his head while curving his fingers around the back of her neck and pulling her close.

  Their lips connected and Taylor’s entire body jolted awake as if waiting for that connection for two decades. And of course, that made sense that she was. She’d missed him. Everything about him.

  He broke the kiss before she could gather her wits about her and break things off herself. She licked her lips and stared up at him. Her chest heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath. She wasn’t that out of shape. Who did he think he was, causing a reaction like that?

  She swallowed again, trying to ignore the taste of him on her lips. “I said we couldn’t have a second chance, Roman.”

  “Stop. That was as good as it ever was, if not better. Imagine how it could be again. I know I had commitment issues before. But I’m over that. Come on, Taylor. Let’s give it a shot.” His hooded gaze mesmerized her and burn his chaps, if he wasn’t trapping her where she stood.

  She stared at him, half-doped up on his promises and assurances that everything would be okay. She was almost hypnotized into agreeing with him that they could try again, until she glanced past his shoulder and caught a glimpse of someone watching them.

  Taylor pulled away, shaking her head and taking a deep breath. “No. We can’t do this. You named yourself as a suitor for the contest. You did that. Not me. You have to follow through with what you set up.”

  He shook his head. “No, I can cancel it. I’ll pay for everything. I don’t care about the bad publicity.”

  Taylor yanked her arms from his and folded her arms across her chest. “No. You don’t understand. This isn’t just about you and your wallet. This isn’t just about you and your reputation. There is an entire town counting on this contest. I told you from the beginning that whatever you did, you’d have to follow through with. You’re going to finish this commitment.” If he couldn’t even finish the commitment for the contest, how would she ever be able to trust him that he was over his commitment issues?

  “If I do this, then what? You’ll give me a second chance?” He furrowed his brow, the serious expression causing a slight dimple in the side of his cheek.

  Taylor looked at him. “This is why I’m not sure I can trust you to be consistent and steady. You made this commitment to do this contest and now you’re trying to get out of it because of what? One kiss? One momentary breakdown over dessert? No. If you really want to be with me, then you need to show some integrity and finish what you started. Just once. Because as of right now, I don’t see anything but a quitter. I want more than that. I deserve more than that.”

  Before he could argue or try to kiss her again, she turned and whirled down the hall, back to her booth, pie and drink. She grabbed anything that didn’t belong to the bakery and flew from the front door. She should have packed up his cake and taken it, too. Seeing Roman again so soon after their kiss wasn’t an option. She still was slightly out of breath. She hadn’t been kissed like that in a long time.

  The things he’d said. The way he’d touched her. None of which was enough to erase the past, but it was a definite start to getting her heart ready for another beatdown.

  Taylor wasn’t sure what else she should do, but giving up her planner had left her feeling more vulnerable than she’d ever felt before.

  As she made her way to the offices, she tried coming up with an excuse why she would have an entire pie in her hand with no wrapping, bag, or other container and she couldn’t come up with anything. She’d literally grabbed her pie and carried it from the bakery. She had to look amusing walking down the street.

  Climbing the steps to the front door, Taylor wasn’t sure she cared if she had a reason to carry pie. Pushing the front door open, she glanced around the front rooms, well-lit with sunlight from the road. No one was in their rooms.

  She continued through the house, finally ending up in the kitchen where she cut a single slice and slid the piece onto a paper plate she pulled from a cupboard. Cari kept the paper products available for in-office lunches and snacks.

  The rest of the pie Taylor left on the island. If no
one else wanted some, she’d have the rest later.

  She needed to distract herself from the conundrum Roman had introduced. She wasn’t ready to give him another chance, but what if he meant what he’d said? Wouldn’t they be perfect together again?

  No. She honestly wasn’t sure. She’d thought they were perfect together before he’d left. Everything she’d ever been confident in before had disappeared like smoke when he’d left. How could she honestly think they’d be perfect together now? How could he?

  Especially when Roman had been bent over an intimate lunch with the contestant moments before?

  No. They needed to stick to the game they were playing and stop bringing in road blocks. What Roman didn’t know yet, was that the game brought in plenty of those on its own.

  Chapter 16

  Roman

  Roman didn’t leave the hall for a full three minutes after Taylor left him there. Even the sounds of other customers in the front coming through the front door as well as the phone ringing in the employees only area didn’t penetrate his confusion.

  His head was reeling. Taylor had turned him down. After that kiss… How could he have ever believed there was any other option for his future and his dreams? Kissing her was as good as it had ever been. Better. Probably because he’d tasted loneliness and the bitterness of regret and he desperately wanted to go back in time and slap the younger version of himself. He’d do more than slap him, he’d warn him of listening to his father or anyone else would try to make him doubt who he really was and who he should be with.

  All the money in the world didn’t matter when he was so painfully alone. Even his disappointing marriage had been an attempt at finding someone to help assuage the pangs of loneliness.

  Winning the Christmas matchmaking contest didn’t seem so important anymore. He had more than enough money for himself, the Deans, his own family and then some. He wasn’t worried about what his decision to end the contest would do. He’d come home to Mistletoe believing he could recover from the stress of a broken marriage and instead, he’d been forced to see just what it was he’d been chasing all those years.

  Honestly, the fact that someone else had seen Taylor for the wondrous woman she was had been the wakeup call Roman needed. He’d always assumed someone like her had gotten married, but the fact that she hadn’t seemed to enforce the myth that Roman had never subscribed to – you only had one shot at soul-saving love in your life.

  Taylor was his. He could accept that. What he couldn’t accept was her answer that he couldn’t have a second chance. Roman wasn’t a quitter.

  He slapped his hand on the wall of the hallway and followed her out to the table.

  But…

  She was gone, pie and all. At least she’d left him his cake and milk. He slid back into the booth and picked up his fork. He had no idea how, but he was going to figure a way to get everyone what they wanted.

  Except Olivia wasn’t going to get Roman. And Stephen couldn’t have Taylor.

  Hmmm. Guess that meant not everyone was getting everything. Maybe instead, he had to look at it as Olivia was getting someone perfect for her – Stephen, and Stephen was getting someone who wasn’t Taylor. Olivia.

  As far as Roman was concerned, that was good enough for him.

  Kissing Taylor after all those years was a rude awakening to what right felt like.

  He had to get back to that. He couldn’t have anything else now that he’d reminded himself of that truth.

  ~~~

  In no time, Roman made his way back home to check in with his mom. The brothers had been taking turns off and on to make sure they were all getting good visits in with her and to make sure she was doing everything the doctor said.

  One very important thing the doctor advised was that Roman’s mother not matchmake. The doc had claimed she got too involved and was too invested with the whole ordeal.

  Roman was the only one of the boys who knew she was doing a combined effort match with the Dean patriarch. He had to do everything he could to help alleviate the stress there as well as see what he could do to sway their matching.

  There was no way Mom would pair Roman to Taylor, but maybe he could nose around and find out where the two elder matchmakers were at in the matching process. Was Taylor going to hear about a potential match soon? Would Roman be able to convince her otherwise?

  Regardless of what she said, she’d kissed him back. If there was no way he couldn’t have a second chance, she never would have responded the way she did. Roman had to hold onto that with both hands.

  He parked the truck at the front of the ranch and climbed the steps to the house. He didn’t need to knock since he was staying there for a while. He pushed the door open and called out, “Mom? You in here?”

  She better be in there since she wasn’t supposed to leave her bed or couch for another few days. Her heart attack had been pretty sudden and terrifying from what his brothers had said. One more thing Roman had missed to add to his list of guilt-inducers.

  “I’m in here. I was just thinking about you, Roman.” Her voice sounded stronger, steadier.

  Was it okay for him to hope she was thinking of him as a match for Taylor? Roman let his air out on a whoosh. He hadn’t realized how worried about his mom he’d been. The last few nights, he’d stayed late at the office and hadn’t understood how much he’d needed to know she was going to be okay.

  He closed the distance to the living room and slowed down as he crossed the threshold into the well-lit area.

  Early afternoon sunlight filled the room, bouncing off the warm wooden accents around the furnishings with the cream foundation as the basis for the design.

  “Hey, you look better.” He sighed. He wasn’t lying. Her hair had been curled and left around her shoulders and the tired look from the hospital she’d sported as shadows under her eyes and the lines around her mouth were almost gone. Things that disappeared with rest and good food.

  “I am better, thanks. Come in. Let me know what I’m missing. How’s it going with the contest?” She patted the cushion next to her on the couch. Someone had helped her move from a bed in the living room to sitting upright on the couch and doing needlepoint as well as a laptop sitting open on the coffee table.

  Roman took the seat she indicated and removed his hat, setting it on the table by his knees while he folded his hands and rested his forearms on his thighs. “The contest is going fine. You probably heard I selected myself as our suitor.” He glanced at her, nervous to hear his mother’s reaction. That was part of the reason why he’d stayed away from the ranch until it was late enough, she’d be asleep.

  “Yes, I heard. I’m assuming you know what you’re doing. I don’t know any girl that would be able to turn you down.” She reached out, patting his arm as she spoke. The gesture was both encouraging while feeling consoling. The dichotomy released the pressure inside him.

  Roman sighed, running his hands down his face. “I don’t know. I think I shot myself in the foot, Mom.”

  “What? Why would you say that?” Roman’s mom turned a little on the cushioned seat and faced him, her brow furrowed as she waited for his reply.

  “I offered myself as a suitor, thinking winning was what I wanted. The more time I spend with Taylor, the more I realize winning doesn’t matter to me.” He glanced at his mother, aware that his honesty affected her with regards to the business, the contest, and her reputation.

  “I’m going to assume you’ve talked to her about this?” She didn’t seem shocked or even disappointed. She didn’t seem anything except curious.

  “I kind of did? I mean… I kissed her.” Heat flushed his face. “She kissed me back, but then told me no because she said I chose to be a suitor and the town and both families are relying on the contest moving forward. Then she told me I had to commit to something before she’d even think about being friends with me again.” His shoulders slumped forward. “Can you believe that? I don’t even want to be friends with her.”

  The
silence from his mom finally made Roman turn his head to look at her. Her expression was anything but supportive as she stared at him, as if waiting for him to be honest about all of it, not just a couple parts.

  He nodded, holding her gaze with his. “Yeah, I know. The only thing I’ve truly committed to since Dad died was the international branch of the business. Even that was just to keep my head away from here. So, I guess the only true thing I’ve committed to was staying away from home.” He sighed; his shame strong as he tried to accept the truth about himself.

  “Roman, I’m going to be honest with you. I think Taylor is right. I think you need to do more to prove yourself to her or to any of us than just coming into town, taking over the contest, and then thinking you can kiss Taylor and fix everything. You haven’t proven anything except that you’re a boor.” She folded her hands in her lap and waited for him to absorb what she’d said. One thing about Elizabeth Wilson she didn’t fluff things that needed to be told straight.

  Even if it hurt.

  Roman gritted his teeth. He looked away from her, unused to her straightforward attitude after years away. He cleared his throat. “Jeesh, Mom, don’t sugar coat it on my account.”

  She lightly slapped his arm and then waited for him to look at her again. “You think you deserve to have things softened for you? You left, little boy. You left a girl who was at the alter waiting for you. You left this family that was counting on you to help with the business on this end. You left a new family that was excited for their new son-in-law to join them and take care of their daughter. You left this town with no answers and nothing but questions. And you didn’t leave for a week or a month. You left for almost twenty years. Go ahead and tell me why you think you deserve more than what you gave us?” She shook her head and folded her arms, watching him. “How dare you think – or expect – it to be easy for you. I love you, son, more than I know how to tell you. But you’re going to need to work for whatever it is you think you deserve. Nothing is free. Especially trust once it’s been broken. Do you understand?”