Sorrows and Lace Page 5

  “We loved each other before. We have an amazing chemistry between us which will make it easier to try having children. I will never raise my hand to you. I think we could be happy as a family. You loved me once. Couldn’t you consider marriage to me? At least for a little bit? All I’m asking for is some time until I can secure the land as mine and potentially get an heir. That’s it.” He had to stop begging. Nothing gave the other person more control. He longed to shake the answer out of her mouth, but he waited.

  She pushed at his chest with her finger. “Yes, I did love you. But you chose this land over me. Your parents told you to leave me and you did it.” Her lip quivered. “You might be offering me so much, but you took a lot away when you couldn’t stick up for us back then.” She dashed tears from her eyes.

  Ronan clenched his jaw, anguish twisting at his gut. “Is that your answer? No? Because of what I did when I was younger? I can’t fix that, I know. But I’m sorry my honesty hurt you. Those were the circumstances facing me. I wasn’t strong enough.” He leaned down so his forehead rested on hers. He closed his eyes, desperate to try to recapture something of what they’d lost. Until he’d seen her again at the casino, he hadn’t realized how truly lonely he’d been. “Kelsey, marry me. Please.”

  She drew back, anguish and uncertainty on her face, and more than anger. “I can’t.” She rushed forward to grab his wrist as he pulled away. “No, it’s not that I won’t or can’t for good. I just need a little time to consider everything, okay? This is a lot when just yesterday I was dealing with my dad nagging me to work more shifts and now I’m here and I’ve had to leave that… my… world behind. It’s… a little much, you know?”

  Sympathy had him turn his hand over and grip her fingers. She’d always brought out the caring side of him. He pressed her fingers with his. “It’s scary, I get that. But it’s not permanent. I’ll even draw up something where you’ll get money for being with me for a specified length of time, if you decide we won’t work.”

  The memory of when she’d shared her biggest fear with him in the twilight of a football game replayed for Ronan at the same time bitterness swept her face.

  In the next moment, Ronan rushed on – obviously he’d spoken out of turn. “No, Kelsey, me paying you money does not make you a whore. I am not paying you for sex. I’m paying you to be my wife – it’s an entirely different thing.”

  And it had to be. Because how else would he find a woman to be his wife for such selfish reasons? He wasn’t dumb. Even with all his money, appearances, and land, he’d never meet another woman who wouldn’t be completely wrapped up in his money and not about kids. Like his soon-to-be-ex-wife He needed a mother for his children. And someone who might one day love him.

  Kelsey’s raw pain had been evident when she’d spoken of having children. Even if they didn’t stay married, she’d be the kind of mother who would love their children.

  Ronan needed that for his babies. Wanted nothing less. “Maybe I’m still a little drunk because I’m thinking this couldn’t be simpler. People around here wouldn’t think it was out of the ordinary because of our history —”

  “Exactly, R.J. Our history. I’m more than half-Salish. What the hell would your parents say, if they were here? Aren’t you worried about ruining your line?” She uncrossed her arms and returned to thrumming her fingers on the granite countertop. Irritation chopped her words in crisp patches.

  Something he’d said or done had pissed her off.

  Ronan shrugged. Truth was, the question reeked of validity. The way they’d parted had been less than fair or amiable. He’d never stopped regretting it. “Mom and Dad aren’t around anymore. I don’t need genealogy to secure the land. I just need to be married and produce an heir. With you, I’ll fulfill my obligations.” Plus… there was the intense need to see if they would fit in each other’s arms like they used to.

  “Do you know how medieval this sounds? I understand this is how the ranching lifestyle is but… Okay, you keep saying we’re to have children. If, and I mean if, I do this, I want a trial period of one month. No baby talk, nothing, no pressure. Just time to figure out if we can handle living under the same roof together. Okay? Can you handle that?” She swallowed and Ronan found the lines of her collarbones extremely sexy.

  “Didn’t you wonder how you got where you were this morning?” He stepped close to her, reaching the few inches to trace the line of her neck to the hollow just above the beginning of her cleavage. He lowered his voice, sticking to the honest and blunt tactic he’d started. “I undressed you, Kelsey, and got you into bed. I’m not ashamed to admit it was a beautiful experience. One I’d like to repeat, again and again. But next time with you awake. We can do time, but we have to do it married. I’m sorry. If at the end of the trial period, you want out, we’ll get an annulment.” Yeah, like he’d let her go after he finally got to have her.

  Torture was giving a dying man his life back and then snatching it away.

  Excitement at touching her roughed up his voice as it tightened the muscles around his jaw. Softly stern, Ronan continued. “So if you agree and we get married, there are some things you will be expected to do.”

  Kelsey held up a finger. “Wait. I read this book before.” She pinned him with her gaze. “You want me to be a biddable and loving wife for however long, is that right?” She arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms.

  She’d never be anything like that, even if he wanted it. Ronan’s laughter resounded around them. “Oh, Kelsey.” But the humor died and a passion burned. He reached for her.

  Her breath caught.

  Taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger, he whispered. “You always did make me laugh.”

  Ronan lowered his lips to the curve just behind her ear. He’d been dying to kiss her, taste her. Just a sample would have to be enough to plant the desire in her to stay with him, try it out, and hold him off her until she was ready.

  He allowed his lips to move across her satiny skin, tracing a line to hover just at the corner of her mouth. Her hot breath mixed with his and suddenly their long separation hit him square in the chest and he crushed her to him. Their lips melded and molded and she whimpered as she threw her arms over his shoulders, pulling tighter to him.

  A tightness in his lap reawakened his need to get marry her. As much as he claimed to not want love or need it, the emotion certainly made things easier. If she loved him, they’d be pregnant in no time. He didn’t care what the doctor had said. Kelsey didn’t have money then. If she married him, she’d have everything she needed to try to become pregnant – and carry to term.

  Hopefully, she took him up on his offer.

  For everyone involved.

  Chapter 8

  Admitting to still being married to Sonny twisted a sharp pang of shame deep inside her gut. Kelsey hadn’t wanted anyone to know that, least of all Ronan. Why couldn’t she have been married to a movie star or other very successful man who would make Ronan jealous as hell instead of pity her for the worm she’d actually ended up with?

  She ached over Ronan’s words about love. Could he really still care for her? Or did he taunt her own feelings?

  Unable to think or breathe with his lips molded to hers, Kelsey stepped away from the onslaught of his kiss before she jumped him right there.

  She held up her hands to keep him back so she could first catch her breath and then finally calm down enough to talk. “I understand it sounds like a great deal, I’m grateful for the opportunity, but I still need to think about it. We don’t exactly have a contract to read over, this is one that I need time to assimilate the conditions.” She glanced around the kitchen, desperate for a drink. “Which means I can drink until I make up my mind one way or the other, right?”

  He frowned, but nodded slowly. “I’d rather you didn’t. I can get you counseling or help, if you have a hard time leaving the stuff alone. To help make it easier, I won’t drink either. But if you are going to be here in an official capacity – as my wif
e – I think it’s only fair to ask that you keep your body healthy for any offspring we have together.”

  His last sentence startled a snort and guffaw from her. “Are you serious? Did you just call any children we have together offspring?” She continued laughing, gasping through her disbelief. “Alright, I’ll try to stay away from anything that will hurt my future babies until I make a decision. I need some time to myself. Can I borrow a horse and go for a ride?”

  Ronan turned from her, heading toward the front foyer. He grabbed a jacket hanging from an ornate antique brass hook. “Sure, Redbird should still be saddled.” He froze and stared at the hook and surrounding wall.

  Kelsey placed both hands on the counter and braced herself with straight arms. Had she just heard him right? “What did you just call your horse?” Shock split through her. No way, he’d named his horse after her. If he had, then he’d thought more about her over the last few years than she’d hoped. The possibility of the truth of that hit her full force and she hid the grin working to get out.

  Slowly lowering his coat to his side, Ronan pivoted on his left boot and faced her. “Well, I love the name. The Salish community doesn’t get enough positive attention. So I got a horse and named her Redbird. Does that offend you?”

  “No, it just caught me off guard.” To say the least. Holy crap, her old boyfriend had named his horse after her last name. The coincidence was too, what’s the word? Coincidency? Coincidentish? Whatever, she couldn’t believe it. And yet, she’d take it. Anything to make her feel more right then, rather than less which is how she always felt since Sonny and her breakup with Ronan. “Still saddled, you said?”

  He cleared his throat and pulled on the jacket. “Yeah. Um, don’t forget a coat, it’s a bit chilly out there. I have a few women’s jackets in the closet from when Amelia and Mom lived here. Help yourself.”

  He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and half-turned his body toward the door. “I need to check in with the hands. Since I was gone so long, they have to update me on how things are faring. Afterwards, I’m heading into town for a meeting with the MacAllisters that I had to bail on when it was scheduled earlier. You and I didn’t get home until too late for me to do anything productive. For the most part though, if you need me, I’m just outside.” His smile displayed shiny white teeth straight and unnerving from between slightly parted lips that had moments before nibbled her bare skin.

  Kelsey returned the smile after he’d closed the door behind himself. She had a lot to do before she could go on her ride. Something told her she’d be heading toward Lonely Rivers.

  ~~~

  Knocking on the door seemed strange. When they’d been in high school, Amelia and Kelsey had spent more time between Lacey Caverns and Lonely River than they did at their own homes – well, Kelsey anyway, since Lacey Caverns was where Amelia lived. But driving out to Lonely Rivers to find Amelia had never ended with Kelsey knocking on the door or ringing the bell. She’d always walked right in.

  The door swung inward, revealing Kelsey’s long-ago friend.

  Amelia’s smile appeared instantly, prompting Kelsey to do the same.

  “Oh, my word, you’re here! What are you doing here? I can’t believe it. Hold on, Robbie’s in the back.” Amelia turned and yelled into the house. “Robbie! Slate! Kelsey’s here.” She reached out for Kelsey’s sleeve and pulled her inside and into her arms for a huge hug from such a small girl.

  Chuckling, Kelsey returned the embrace. “I can’t believe you cut your hair. What did we always talk about?”

  Amelia pushed Kelsey to arm’s length. “Well, you haven’t cut yours, so maybe I’ll grow mine back. Oh, wow, it’s so good to see you. What are you doing out this way?” Amelia peered closely at Kelsey. “Does Ronan know you’re in town? He’s going to die.”

  “Kelsey! Come in. Oh wow, you look amazing.” Slate strode toward her, a rougher, leaner version of him following close behind. He opened his arms and folded her in for a large bear-style hug. Squeezing a grunt from her, he laughed when he set her back on her feet. “Just like old times. Except now, I have a girlfriend and she’s awesome.”

  “Really? That’s surprising. I can’t believe your ugly mug caught a girl.” She winked and he chuckled. Slate was anything but ugly – in fact, more than one girl had lost her heart when he’d walked by.

  Robbie moved to stand beside Amelia, his arm protectively around her waist. Kelsey just grinned, seeing her friend so happy.

  Newly remodeled since she’d last been there, Lonely Rivers had an elegant outdoorsy feel going on. “The place is amazing. I can’t believe how big you made it.” She ran her fingers through her freshly washed hair, careful not to smudge the makeup she’d applied to lighten her skin tone. Amelia’s fairness had never been a point of jealousy for Kelsey, but she’d always wanted to fit in better with her lighter-skinned friends. The insecurity over the years hadn’t faded. “And yes, Amelia, R.J. knows I’m here. I’m staying with him.”

  Amelia stepped from Robbie’s grasp and drew Kelsey into the living room, placing her in front of a couch and motioning for her to sit. Taking the seat, Kelsey tucked her foot behind her knee and waited for the quizzing to begin.

  “What happened?” Amelia started. She’d never had patience and always had to know the dirt first.

  Robbie and Slate watched, eyebrows drawn down and lips pressed tight. Their gazes never strayed from Kelsey’s face as if she might break out in tears any moment.

  Robbie broke in before Kelsey could answer. “Does this have anything to do with that deal I offered him?”

  Spinning to him, Amelia gaped. “What deal? And what would it have to do with Kelsey?”

  He shrugged, glancing at Kelsey from the corner of his eyes as if to say, help?

  “You both need to start explaining.” Amelia volleyed her gaze between the two of them. “If it has to do with Ronan, we need all the information we can get.”

  ~~~

  “Have another cup, Kelsey.” Slate leaned over the back of the couch and poured dark, shimmery, almost-magical liquid into her mug.

  She wrapped her fingers around the reheating glass. “Thanks, you guys have delicious coffee. I could drink this all day.” But she couldn’t stay. Shouldn’t stay. “Tell me about your girlfriend, Slate. What’s she like? Where’s her family?”

  He settled into his seat and set the coffee pot on an intricately worked wrought iron trivet. Clutching his cup in both hands, he smiled into the depths of his drink. “Well, she’s definitely not from around here. She’s a doctor and she and her dad live in town.” Slate shifted in his seat as he sipped, then continued. “In fact, I just found out when I spoke to her on the phone last, that her dad and Nurse Shelley are planning on a date this weekend. Her dad is managing the clinic since Becky bought it out from the Roylances when ole Doc Roylance died a little while ago.”

  “Wow, he’d been around forever.” Kelsey used to run by his office on her way to school from the bus stop and he’d hand her a sucker. Nice old guy.

  “Yeah, he had.” Slate looked toward the kitchen where Amelia and Robbie had disappeared. “Just between you and me, I think I’m going to marry this one. We haven’t been dating long, but there’s something about her.” He shrugged. “When you know, you know.”

  Robbie laughed, coming from the kitchen. “I heard that, brother. If you don’t snapped up that doctor, she won’t have any trouble replacing you. I’m glad you’re back, Kelsey. I hope you take Ronan up on his offer. We need him to calm down a little bit. He’s wound so damn tight, it’s annoying.”

  “We’ll see. You guys have definitely made it easier to think about.” Having discussed the details with the MacAllisters and Amelia, Kelsey had been able to lay out the offer from Ronan in a less biased manner. Telling others helped her separate her concerns from the pros and cons. She needed that more than the coffee – but she was grateful for both.

  With little jabs from Robbie toward Ronan and how quick he’d come to find K
elsey throughout the telling had prickled her nerves. She waited for the last boot to drop and push her toward pissed off at Ronan and the circumstances he’d brought her into. True, he’d saved her from a homeless moment on the reservation, but at what cost? He seemed to be forthright with his wants and expectations, hell, even his desires, but what about his motivations? Did she even know the man he’d become?

  Giggling from the kitchen caught her attention. She shifted on the plump couch cushion again, lifting her ankle to rest on her knee and then dropping it to the floor to cross with the other. Amelia had disappeared to take care of her son. Kelsey wanted to yell out so she could see him, maybe even meet him.

  “You’ve been watching the kitchen for a little while. Do you want to meet him?” Robbie’s observation brought heat to Kelsey’s face.

  She brought the cup up and sipped her drink before responding. “I don’t… No, that’s oka… actually, do you think I could?”

  He smiled, the brilliance of his happiness almost blinding, transforming his scarred and rough appearance into that of a proud father. “You bet. He’s awesome. I can’t stop staring at him.” He raised his voice to be heard in the kitchen. “Ames, bring Mac in here. I want Kelsey to meet her potential nephew.”

  Kelsey placed both feet on the floor, tapping her toes and then heels. She clasped her hands in her lap, waiting, waiting.

  And suddenly there was a small child walking toward Robbie – like a mirror-image from twenty-plus years ago. Kelsey stopped moving, transfixed by the large blue eyes and perfect small teeth in his cherubic smile that most definitely hid more than a little mischief. “Wow, he’s just like you.” She breathed to Robbie.

  Awe and regret washed over her.

  “Isn’t he?” Amelia followed behind her son, a kitchen towel in her hands. “He’s spoiled as all get out though. With both Uncle Slate and Dad here, he has a wrestling buddy any time he wants. Or a riding partner. Or a hunting partner.”