Broken Trails Read online

  His soft chortle drew her attention. “You always did keep it private.” He nodded. “Alright, that’s fine. I’d like to catch up, spend some time with you.” His smile melted into a sober line filled with history and meaning. “It’s been a long time.”

  “Yes, it has.” She considered his interest. How did Emma respond to that? He wanted to see her? Again? She couldn’t be that lucky, but at the same time, she wouldn’t string him along, either. She wanted to be more with him, but a future with her wasn’t possible. He was right, she always held things back, kept things tight to her chest. If she wanted to see him, she had to spell it out for him, keep things open from the beginning. “Friends, right?”

  Why did she always have to ruin everything? She was losing her brother and now Nate wanted to see her? Things were so confusing. She was going to get lost in her emotional turmoil before she even had that breakfast Mom promised her.

  Drake didn’t have any food to take with him on the long ride. She glanced at her brother, worry clenching around her waist, deep in the center of her stomach.

  “Friends. Of course.” His smile tight, he watched her with a penetrating stare. “How about we go for a ride? Sometime next week?”

  He might think he wanted more with her, he always had, but she couldn’t give him more. Didn’t want to saddle him with what more meant.

  A bus turned the corner a few blocks down. Emma sighed in relief. She was off the ropes of talking to Nate and all his hidden meanings and magnetic pull. His presence wouldn’t let her heart slow down.

  She caught her breath at remembering what the bus meant.

  Emma glanced back at Nate. “I’ll ride over to Bella Acres one day next week. If you’re outside on your horse, we can go.” She nodded quickly at him, like ‘take it or leave it’ and swiveled her head in search of Drake.

  “What if I’m not?” Nate didn’t take the hint and pressed for more. She’d always liked his persistence, but today wasn’t the day for impressing her.

  “What if you’re not what?” Emma turned back, drawing her eyebrows in. Seriously, she was going to lose her brother any second.

  “What if I’m not outside?” He pressed, twisting the reins around and around his leather work gloves.

  She shrugged, offering a coy smile and turning to stand with Drake. Figure it out, cowboy.

  Nate moved to the side as Emma’s parents joined them on the sidewalk. She pushed him to the back of her mind while her heart manhandled the next few seconds.

  Mom hugged Drake and sniffed, squeezing his shoulder. “You be a good boy, now.” She walked to the truck before her tears fell, climbing in without looking back.

  Their dad nodded and hoarsely said, “Be good. Let us know you made it.” And he joined his wife in the cab. Such an emotionless send off.

  Emma didn’t acknowledge anyone else. She stared at her brother, scrunching her lips and nose as she struggled with her tears. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “We already did this. I love you and I’ll call you when I get in.” He pulled her tight into a bear hug and rocked her back and forth for a moment longer than normal.

  “I love you, too, little brother.” Heart twisting with goodbye, Emma nodded. “I’ll see you sooner than you know.”

  He ignored his parents, patted Emma’s shoulder and climbed on the silver and blue bus. He didn’t look back. He held his shoulders straight.

  A niggling of bitterness towards her parents planted itself in Emma’s heart. That was her brother. Her only friend. And they’d just sent him away.

  Turning to look for Nate, Emma’s surprise at his absence overshadowed her disappointment that he was gone. He’d vanished so quickly. How was that even possible?

  She climbed into the back of the truck, unable to look her parents in the face. She understood where they were coming from, but at the same time, how could they tear up their family?

  Now she was as fractured as Nate.

  Chapter 3

  Nate

  Swinging down from Missy, Nate patted her flank. “Good girl, Missy. Good girl.” He removed his hat and wiped at his brow with his sleeve.

  Early spring brought a warm sun and cool breeze with even cooler nights. Starting work on the fields and in the paddock at five before the sun rose required warmer clothes than later in the day. Nate hadn’t had a chance to change since before breakfast.

  From around the side of the house, Hannah rang the large metal triangle bell hanging from the awning rafters. She hollered out to the field. “Ten minutes!”

  Right on time.

  After taking care of Missy, Nate washed his hands in the barn sink.

  He’d waited all week for a chance to see Emma. Watched for her from the fields which didn’t help as he checked the irrigation lines and surveyed the fences necessary to keep animals out of his wheat and corn.

  Wheat and corn.

  Nate shook his head, thinking about the crops his dad had switched to a couple years before dying made him queasy. All his life, Nate had been taught how to care for beef and other animals. How to take care of the livestock to make money, how to take them to auction, how to work deals with suppliers and how to trade for deals with other vendors, like butchers, and feed haulers. Vast difference from the golden stalks he sought after all season.

  Meat prices dropped in the late nineties and Nate’s dad switched to wheat and corn when a disease wiped out over eighty percent of his stock.

  Two years. Not enough time to learn anything, let alone develop a schedule or production plan.

  And neither parent had life insurance or much in savings to carry past any real time period.

  Before going inside the house, Nate paused on the deck, bracing his arms on the railing and staring out at the wide expanse of Bella Acres. Beautiful land. Named by his mom. No matter what happened in his life, Nate had the land. His sisters had a home as long as Nate had Bella Acres. Nothing could go wrong, if they held onto their parents’ dreams.

  No matter what it took, he wouldn’t lose the land.

  The acreage didn’t have any surface water, but it had a gravity-pressurized well and plenty of healthy soil. The latter didn’t matter if Nate didn’t have any idea how to cultivate and plant it and reap what he sowed.

  He wiped at his face.

  Hannah only gave him ten minutes. He’d probably pushed the time past what she asked.

  Inside, Nate nodded to his sister at the table and took his seat. “I’m sorry. I had to stable Missy and check on the other horses before coming in.” Their mother had pressed manners on them from the beginning. Getting to the table when called was one of her biggest rules.

  You didn’t come, you didn’t eat.

  It didn’t take more than once or twice to learn that lesson.

  “You’re okay. I forgot to make honey butter. I used the extra time.” She smiled sweetly. At only thirteen years old, his sister was already a heart breaker. Without any agenda behind her looks, she really was an angel trying to manage her loneliness.

  Not for the first time, Nate wished he could trade his mom for a spot in that car accident. Not that he wanted to die, but so his sisters could have their mother. He missed her more than he could explain, but a girl needed her mom growing up. Not an older brother who knew nothing about anything.

  Hannah placed a large ceramic plate in front of him, piled high with chunks of steaming roast, carrots, potatoes, corn, and a roll. Condiments already claimed their positions on the Lazy-Susan in the center of the large square table.

  They folded their hands and said grace.

  “Did anyone stop by today?” Nate sipped at his ice water, trying not to search Hannah’s face for any possible hints or clues. How many times did Emma have to blow him off for him to learn his lesson?

  Grinning, Hannah poked his shoulder. “Not today either, Nate. You waiting on something in the mail, or for a chick to show up?”

  Chuckling, Nate nodded his head. “You just let me know when someone shows up.”
Picking up his fork, Nate glanced at Stefanie’s empty spot and then over at Hannah. His eyebrows drew together. “Where’s Stef?”

  Half-shrugging as she slathered golden honey-butter on her roll, Hannah mumbled, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen her all day. Would’ve been nice to have some help.”

  “She didn’t come down for breakfast?” Nate lowered his fork. Was Stefanie sick? Had she snuck out again? “Did she get any of her chores done?”

  Hannah glanced at him, her eyes wide. She shook her head the smallest amount. “I haven’t seen her all day. I didn’t check in her bedroom, because I was mad. And I got madder all day. I don’t even want to talk to her right now.” She gritted her teeth and tossed her buttered roll to the plate, glaring at the condensation on her glass. She continued through clenched teeth. “I did her chores.”

  Shoving his chair back from the table, Nate stood.

  Enough was enough.

  Stefanie had to pull herself together. Nate couldn’t do everything for her, and neither could her younger sister. He snagged his water glass and traipsed up the stairs to the bedrooms at the end of the hall.

  The last thing he felt like doing was hounding after his sisters. The continued stress of dealing with Stefanie’s moodiness combined with the waiting and longing to see Emma again. A sneer etched itself on Nate’s lips as he thundered through Stefanie’s bedroom.

  She didn’t stir from her spot under the covers. Eyes closed, she may or may not have been asleep. Whether she was feigning or not, Nate didn’t care. At the same time he reached the side of her bed, he turned his cup upside down, emptying its icy contents onto her face and hair.

  The splash covered her and splattered onto her pillow, blankets, and the wall.

  Sputtering, Stefanie shot up to a sitting position, straggling strands of wet hair clinging to her cheeks and across her eyes. “What the hell?” She swiped at her face and shook her head.

  “Have you been in bed all day? What is wrong with you?” Nate jabbed his hands on his hips and glared at Stefanie. All day? She’d been there in bed all day while he and Hannah had been working? “This is unbelievable.”

  “I’m tired.” Stefanie lifted her chin and pursed her lips. “It’s been a long week. We had a bunch of finals and…” She shrugged, wiping at her face with the corner of her blanket.

  Finals. High school. Nate didn’t miss any of it at all. Plus, it was the week following the crap at the party. He calmed down a bit. He’d been there. He understood. “Fine. I get it. It’s time to eat. You have night chores now – all of them.”

  Stefanie gasped. “All of them? No, that’s way too many. Can’t Hannah help me?”

  “Hannah did your morning chores.” Nate pointed his finger toward the door. “She’s been working since daybreak. Now, she gets to sit on her butt and watch a movie or read a book or whatever she likes to do for fun. You’ve been in bed all day. You’re helping around here.”

  She glared, crossing her arms over the water-dark spots on her nightshirt. “Why? It’s not like it’s going to do any good. We’re sinking, Nate. I saw the books.”

  “What are you looking at the books for?” Nate scowled. He barely understood Dad’s antiquated system of finances. The ledgers were dizzying and Nate avoided looking at them unless it was absolutely necessary.

  “Dad used to have me help him.” She looked down, tightening her features so she wouldn’t cry. Stefanie was tougher than people realized. She was also more vulnerable than anyone but Nate and Hannah knew. Her relationship with their dad had been the closest parent-child relationship in the house.

  She was also a whiz at math, sleeping through her calculus classes and passing with straight A’s as a junior.

  “You understand those things?” Nate blinked a couple times to clear the disbelief from his eyes. “Why didn’t I know this?” In two years you’d think she would’ve said something.

  “Because I didn’t tell you.” Scoffing, Stefanie climbed from her bed. Her sweat pants hanging low on her hips and she yawned. “Nate, you’re sinking.”

  “No, we’re sinking, little sister. If Bella Acres folds, we don’t have a place to live.” Angry, frustrated, disappointed in the situation with Emma, and irritated that Stefanie knew more about the land than he did, he turned and tossed over his shoulder. “To get yourself out of trouble with me and Hannah, you’ll do the chores and tomorrow you’re going over those books.” He glanced back. “I want the chores done before I get back.”

  “Where are you going?” Stefanie lifted her hand to the side, palm up.

  “Out.” Nate needed to relieve some of the tension, and one of the things he needed to do was see Emma.

  She hadn’t come to him.

  Fine. He would go to her.

  Chapter 4

  Emma

  The dry line had to be clipped in certain spots, or dust would get under the clothes. Emma couldn’t remember their dryer. Mom said the beast quit working around the time Emma had to go in for her first round of treatment. They didn’t have the money to fix it or buy a new one.

  Story of her life.

  At least the washing machine still quasi-worked.

  Emma slowly unclipped jeans from the line, tossing the slightly crispy material into the basket at her feet. The removal of the pants cleared her line of sight and she blinked into the setting sun.

  A silhouette of a man on a horse leading another horse quivered in front of the bright orb.

  Easily fatigued, she squinted, placing a hand at the small of her back. She must be more tired than she first thought. There she stood, outside, and she imagined things in the boring landscape of their place.

  She blinked and narrowed her eyes more. Realizing the approaching rider was Nate, Emma swiped at her hair. The haphazard braid wouldn’t be fixed in the few seconds it would take for him to reach her. Hopefully, there wasn’t any dirt on her face or anything.

  Terrified she’d embarrass herself if she moved, she waited beside a half-empty clothes line.

  She hadn’t gone to see him. She’d been at doctor appointments and working with Mom and trying to forget the pull Nate had on her. Plus, how embarrassing that she wore the same clothes she’d had on the last time she saw him.

  Mom and Dad had gone into town to sell eggs and milk from the cow, but they had to go south into Colby. Taylor Falls wasn’t full of enough people to sell things to and the small general store got their eggs from the Riddick ranch.

  Nate slowed his horse to a stop and dismounted, resettling his hat and smiling at Emma.

  She tried ignoring the breadth of his shoulders and the piercing blue of his eyes set against the backdrop of his tanned skin. The hastening to her pulse declared some things just can’t be ignored. She at least controlled her breathing enough to speak in semi-normal tones. “Hi, Nate.”

  “Emma.” He nodded, leading the horses to stand beside a water barrel her dad put out for the cows that wandered by. “How are you?”

  Did he want to know how she really was? Or how he affected her? Or he didn’t actually care and was there for something else? Either way, she didn’t need to take so long. “I’m fine. How are you?”

  “Good, thanks.” He approached her, his steps measured like he didn’t want to come too fast. It didn’t take more than a few feet for him to stand in front of her. “I didn’t see you all week, so I thought I would come to you.”

  “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.” Her eyes were drawn to his hypnotic blue gaze.

  With his head tilted down and the slightest curve to his lips, Nate could’ve been on the cover of a western movie or even a novel.

  The worst part was she’d been in those arms, she’d kissed those lips. The torture was how he stood in front of her, inches from her touch, but miles from possible. “Sorry.” What was she saying? Holy cow, Emma, stop talking.

  “For what?” Nate slowly blinked, not releasing her from the hold of his gaze. “You never said you would come for sure. It’s not like you broke a promise
or anything.” A glimmer of a promise broken in the past sliced the air between them.

  Oh, but she had. Maybe not in the last week, but she had broken promises.

  A lot of promises.

  Quiet fell between them, filled with lost opportunities and misunderstandings.

  As if shaking away the moment, Nate jerked his head to the side and then back. His face changed from melancholy to coy. “Want to go now?”

  Emma glanced at the horses, their sheer size daunting. She’d never make it. Too much movement was required. She’d been working on the laundry for a good hour as it was. Getting on top of a moving animal with her balance so precarious wasn’t the best way to get her pride back around Nate. Her body didn’t care what she wanted. The stupid thing would give out whether she would die of embarrassment or not.

  Shaking her head slowly, she swallowed against the nausea even that caused her. “No, sorry.” Apologies. Would she forever be saying she was sorry to people? Especially those she cared about? Like Nate?

  Now he would leave and she wouldn’t see him again. Why should he give her chance after chance? She wouldn’t blame him, if he left and never looked back. She wasn’t even acting like being pursued was something she was interested in.

  Which she wasn’t interested in being pursued romantically – at least not all of her was.

  But maybe a small part of her was. A little, teeny, tiny part… maybe.

  Nate’s expression didn’t change and he pointed toward two sun-faded Adirondack chairs her dad had traded some milk for a few years back. “Can you at least sit with me?”

  Sitting actually sounded nicer that he knew. Emma nodded slowly, careful not to overdo any movements and chance passing out in front of him. How embarrassing would that be?

  He moved to the chairs, waiting beside one as Emma slowly dropped the clips in her hands to the basket at her feet. She blinked hard to stop the land from swaying and placed one foot on the ground in front of her, focusing on the crunch of dirt and sparse grass beneath her sandals.