Regretting Redemption (The Redemption Series Book 4) Read online

  What was she doing? Edward had driven her batty. She jumped between throwing herself against poor Ian and freezing him to death with her attitude.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be all over the place. I just… I can’t figure out what’s going on, you know?” Against her better judgment, Mary reached out and accepted his handshake. His fingers engulfed hers and heat flooded her insides. Not with an angry warmth, but more like a safe secure cozy feeling. She pulled her hand away slowly, scared at the sensation and terrified she might never feel anything like it again.

  A truck barreled to a stop on the gravel shoulder in front of her house, parking at an angle, dust blowing up from the quickly stopping tread.

  Lisa climbed out, dusting down her jean-encased thighs and tossing her dark, beauty-pageant hair from her face.

  An angry comment died on Mary’s lips with the arrival of another truck, a bright red and black truck which had left only hours before.

  Mary ducked inside. Fear shook her fingers and formed tears in her eyes.

  She grabbed her purse, house keys, and backpack from the foyer hooks. Ignoring the shattered remnants of plates and glasses around her living room, she locked the front door and pushed past Ian. “Excuse me.” Her whisper didn’t carry far. She trampled down the steps. “Hi, Lisa. Thanks for coming to get me.”

  She ignored Edward.

  With everything that had happened, she’d never called Lisa. She wouldn’t. Right then though, she needed to get away from Edward.

  Get away from the destruction following her around her home town.

  She needed to get away from the brutal sympathy in Ian’s gaze and the last thing she needed was to hear empty apologies from Edward.

  Or anyone.

  Chapter 6

  Ian

  When Mary climbed into Lisa’s truck, Ian unclenched his fists. He watched them drive away and then glanced at the black truck idling in front of his own.

  A man slid from the front seat like he had oil-soaked slacks. Hands casually in his front pockets, he ambled up the walk toward Ian, dark hair tossed about with carefully placed curls. “Can I help you? I’m Mary’s fiancé.”

  Ian arched his eyebrow. “Looks like you have a solid relationship there, mate.”

  “British, huh? Well, we are solid. Thank you for stopping by.” The man smirked, leaning on the railing to the steps of the patio. He pointedly glanced toward Ian’s truck and then back at Ian.

  Ian wasn’t thick. He could take a hint when they were branded into physical movement. He shoved past the man, his shoulders broader and more capable of taking up space as he walked by. As he calmly approached his rig, his jaw set. Breathe, man. Just breathe. At least he could comfort himself that Mary had run away from the jerk.

  ~~~

  The digital display on his dashboard clock read half past six. He hadn’t been that late for dinner in years. The drive home had passed quickly as he’d buried himself in memories and thoughts.

  Pushing through the door between the garage and the house, he groaned as the full aroma of fried chicken and mashed potatoes him in the face. “Nana Nell? I’m sorry I’m late.”

  One of her pet peeves was tardiness to the dinner table. He understood why and was rarely late, but today had been unavoidable.

  She bustled in from the table, moving around to scoop fluffy potatoes onto a plate. “I understand, dear. What kept you?”

  Kicking his boots off by the door – heaven forbid he wear his shoes in the house – Ian met Nana Nell’s gaze. “I met someone who reminded me of Elena. It scared me a little bit.”

  Facing away from him, her movements stilled and she looked to the side. “Did you save her?”

  “I tried.” He removed his hat and hooked the bucket portion onto a peg above the doorway. “But it’s clearly not my place to step in. I don’t even know her.” He wanted to know her, couldn’t stop thinking about her.

  “If it’s not your place to help a woman in trouble, then whose place is it?” Nana Nell stepped to her seat and pierced him with her gaze. She pressed the spoon into the mound of whiteness. In the newly made bowl of potatoes, she drizzled thick brown gravy. With tongs she placed a fried chicken breast and a drumstick beside a pile of golden kernel corn.

  Ian claimed the plate when she handed it to him. He slowly raised his eyes to find her watching him. He conceded with far less grace than he should’ve. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “I know I’m right. If we had tried harder, we could’ve saved Elena. I just know it.” She slapped her hands together, then wiped them on her red and white checkered apron. “Come on, I’m not missing Jeopardy. You can help that child tomorrow.”

  Even with her assertions that they could’ve saved Elena, Nana Nell never blamed them for not saving her. Her favorite thing to say was “You can lead a horse, but they don’t have to follow.” Well, it was her favorite thing to say when she wasn’t hurrying to Jeopardy.

  Ian could help Mary tomorrow. He’d watched Lisa drive away with Mary. At least he was certain she wasn’t in danger of being around Edward for one night.

  Why was he letting it bother him so much? Putting his sister’s experience aside, what did Mary have that kept him worried over her welfare? She hadn’t been particularly nice to him since they’d met. Well, except when she loaned her scarf. She’d been angry one time and terrified and sad the next.

  His subconscious seemed to pick her need screaming for him, calling to him for help. Something inside him longed to answer. Longed to be needed by someone. Every girlfriend he’d dated had been too independent. They’d never allowed him to help. Maybe that was important to him, helping. Especially when it was someone he cared about.

  He didn’t know Mary well. What was it about her that held his attention through the evening and into the long hours of the night?

  Her eyes? A brilliant blue, but he couldn’t say it was just those. Her figure was curvy but easily hidden in her modest skirts. The pale ivory of her skin, like she protects her cheeks from the sun? The slight upturned tip of her nose? Or could it be her back and forth between assertive and apologetic? She was an enigma and he wanted to see her again, discover what she’d say or do next.

  ~~~

  The next morning dawned with the barest tinge of pink in the sky.

  Ian jumped from bed.

  His Nana would never question his early morning risings when she would sleep until eight at the earliest. He needed to take Peanut Butter for a ride and, if he was brave enough, pick up some donuts from the Colby Bakery.

  Fortunately for Lisa and Mary, the bakery was right next to the road that would take him to the street Lisa’s condo was on. In a roundabout way. Oh, great, he sounded like a stalker.

  He’d make his reasoning sound more convincing when he talked to them with donuts and coffee in hand. No one could resist edible gifts. Once he got inside and talked some more, got to know Mary more, maybe he could figure out what pulled him to her.

  Find out how bad her fiancé was before doing some real damage.

  Chapter 7

  Mary

  Mary rubbed at her straight wet hair with a thick terry towel. “This isn’t permanent. I’m going to have to return home sooner or later.” She massaged her scalp, careful around a small, tender bruise behind her ear where Edward had thrown a teacup.

  “I don’t care how long you stay. You’re not going back to that place. There’s nothing but heartache for you there.” Lisa blew on the tendrils of white steam drifting from her mug of coffee as she sat with her feet tucked beneath her butt on the couch.

  A fine line appeared between Lisa’s brows. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t let you go back to him. If he’s half the pig you made him out to be, he’s only good as bacon on my griddle.” She sipped at the hot liquid, pulling back quickly to blow some more. “Plus, Mary he has a key to your place. He could be hiding there, waiting.” She shivered. “You need to get your locks changed.”

  “Yea
h, that’s a smart idea. Maybe before your first appointment today you could help me set that up?” Standing in front of a small circular mirror past the kitchen counter, Mary couldn’t face herself. She ignored the image in the glass and fluffed her hair with her fingers, over and over. She didn’t have any of her hair products, nothing to make her hair curly and full of body like Edward preferred.

  He’d texted her a couple of times, calling her ‘baby’ and telling her how sorry he was. Of course, she hadn’t told Lisa – she’d never understand. Torn between going back to him and staying away to clear her head, she tried not thinking too hard about how alone she was.

  Discouragement overwhelmed her. “You don’t get him. He never touched me. Exactly.” He wouldn’t, either. When he got upset he threw things and sometimes his aim wasn’t on target. He didn’t mean to hurt her. He always apologized to her.

  Edward had made her take the garbage out. When she’d returned to the kitchen, with her hair hanging limply down her back and her mud-splattered skirt clinging to her legs, he’d pointed out her pitiful appearance. He took pity on Mary, unwilling to waste an opportunity to point out her fortune from his attention. Never let her forget her name prevented her from finding love and her looks left her less than desirable.

  He said he loved her in spite of who she was.

  Thunk-thunk-thunk. Knuckles on the condo door slowed Mary’s energetic drying.

  Lisa set her cup on the coffee table and ambled the short distance to open the door. With her dark hair pulled up in a loose ponytail and tendrils framing her long neck and cheekbones, Lisa couldn’t be related to Mary. There was no possible way.

  Mary pulled the towel down, waiting for Lisa to respond. But Lisa’s shoulders stiffened and she pulled back from the doorway. “What do you want?”

  Angling her head to see around Lisa, Mary’s eyes widened. What was Jason Mendez doing there? He would find out Mary had lied about knowing Lisa and the other women – well, not the other women – but he wouldn’t know that when he saw Mary there.

  Without blinking, he shot a glance at Mary over Lisa’s shoulder, nodded curtly and said, “Hello, Ms. Caracus.” He returned his dark gaze to Lisa, his eyes narrowing. “I see you found one. Where are the other three? We had a deal, Trinkett.”

  Holding up her hand, Lisa glanced at Mary over her shoulder too. “I know. We’ll do this, okay? But you have to back off. If Jenny…”

  He shook his head. “Yeah, yeah. I know. If Jenny finds out I’m looking for all of you, she might go further into hiding. For someone you’ve never met, you’re pretty certain how she’s going to react.”

  Lisa swung the door shut, but Jason’s hand stopped it from closing all the way. He pierced both of the women with his gaze, speaking calm and low. “I wouldn’t go anywhere far, if I were you two. Things are getting out of control and I don’t do chaos.” He watched them, like he expected them to fly off the saddle right there.

  Mary picked at her fingernails. What was she doing? She’d run from an irritated man who couldn’t stop saying mean things to Lisa’s house where FBI agents and long-lost sisters demanded more attention than high strung ponies. Fatigue pulled at her energy reserves.

  Lisa shook her head, scoffing. “Don’t threaten me, Mendez. There’s nothing I can do to find Jenny faster. I barely got Mary here.”

  He stepped closer, into Lisa’s personal space so she had to lean her head back and peer at him. “You thought that was a threat? That’s cute. You’ve only seen my good side, Lisa. When you’ve pushed me too far, I’ll show you my bad side…” He glared at both women. “When I do, there’s no going back.” He whirled, pulling the door shut behind him.

  Mary winced. What exactly was Lisa not telling her?

  Pausing by the door, shoulders trembling, Lisa didn’t move for a long moment. After about thirty seconds, she turned with a contrived smile. “There’s no going back to what?”

  Ignoring Lisa’s attempt at a joke, Mary closed her eyes and breathed deep. “What do we need to do? What aren’t you telling me?” Mary hadn’t taken Lisa and the other women’s plight seriously because she hadn’t seen the pressure – only heard about it like a bad rumor.

  Seeing his impatience and barely controlled anger had jellied her insides, and not in a good way. Mary tried swallowing, but her mouth was dry and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. The yoga pants she’d borrowed from Lisa rolled in bunches when she rubbed her hands down the front of her thighs.

  “I promised him I’d get all five of us together. He wants to talk about Devlyn. And…” Lisa shrugged. “If I want to get him off our backs, I’ll figure out a way to do it.” She wrinkled her nose. “I miss Ryan. He’s always so calming. You’ll meet him and his son when they get back in town next week.”

  “Ryan is…” Mary wiggled her eyebrows. Claiming a seat on the couch, she drew her knees up to her chest on the couch and curled her toes into the soft material. Chills hadn’t left after Mendez’s threats and she wanted to talk about anything, even Lisa’s love life which was always better than hers.

  “My boyfriend?” She flopped onto the couch cushions and copied Mary’s position. “I don’t know what to call him. Sara Beth is taking her time with her boyfriend, but she’s a kid still, and can call him a boyfriend. Rosie and Michael, well, they just got married. I’m not sure if Ryan is, I don’t know, a boyfriend so much as a hot man-friend. Is that a thing? A hot man-friend? Except I love him and it makes him sound less important than he is.”

  A giggle escaped Mary. “Are you serious, you’re going with ‘Ryan is my hot-man-friend’? I’m not sure that qualifies as an official title for a male love interest.”

  Crossing her arms, Lisa nodded emphatically. “No, wait, I’m sure it counts, because I’m dating one.” She laughed and grabbed a throw pillow, smacking Mary’s leg with the broad side of the fluffy square.

  “Well, is he at least nice to you?” A somber tone invaded Mary’s voice. She hadn’t meant to ask, never wanted to know. She didn’t get good guys because what good guy dated a bad guy’s daughter?

  No, wait, that wasn’t fair. Her dad had never been anything but good to her. How other people took his abrasive personality was their problem. Mary chomped down on her tongue, to keep from blundering more about Lisa’s man-friend.

  Lisa’s smile faded and she watched Mary like she might cry any moment. “Yeah, he’s extremely sweet. And his son is amazing. I adore both of them. Well, actually, I… well, I was serious when I said I love him… I love them.” Scrunching her lips to the side, Lisa tried playing off her new vulnerability.

  Mary’s surprise mingled with envy. Why was Lisa the golden child? Sure, she’d been less popular growing up because of her trashy roots and fatherless home, but Lisa had always been nice, even when she’d been kind of a witch. People loved her for it. Even the sexual harassment incident with the Montana pageant company hadn’t left a sour taste in the participants’ and fans’ mouths. They’d all hailed Lisa as a brave woman for standing her ground.

  If Mary had tried pulling what Lisa had pulled, she would have been thrown to the bull’s ring and then strung out for whip practice.

  The two women fell into a somewhat comfortable silence. Lisa reached forward and squeezed Mary’s knee. “I missed this, Mary. I never stopped being friends with you.” Her soft comment stung, as guilt reared its ugly head in Mary’s heart.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I said that way. We are friends, I just… it’s just easier not dealing with all this, you know?” Mary avoided Lisa’s gaze. She couldn’t own her actions, not without explaining it didn’t matter what Lisa did, she was always perfect. No matter what Mary did, she was always failing.

  Just ask Edward.

  Falling into an uncomfortable silence, they looked around the room.

  Lisa broke the quiet first. “How long have you been with him?” She hugged her waist, watching Mary and waiting for an answer.

  Trying to act like she didn’t know
to the exact day how long she and Edward had been together, she tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling. “Um, about four and a half months now?”

  “Four months and you’re engaged?” Lisa’s snicker drew Mary’s gaze.

  Mary set her jaw and narrowed her eyes. “That’s longer than a lot of people date before getting married. We’re engaged. We haven’t set a date yet.” There she was lying again. He’d suggested they get married in the next two weeks.

  Two more weeks. She couldn’t even talk to him right now. How was she supposed to marry him? A small pit in her stomach promised her she would. Because a husband and children were the most important things to her. If Edward would give them to her, she would take his temper tantrums and his quietly controlled scornful comments. She needed a family, children, because she couldn’t be alone any longer.