Sorrows and Lace Read online

  Previously absent, Todd’s professionalism resurfaced and he straightened his back and adjusted his glasses. “Like I said, you’re about due for a break. Go ahead. I’ll find someone to spell you.” Abruptly, he turned away before she could thank him.

  Had she imagined it? Ronan James hadn’t been in her thoughts for a while. Okay, bull crap. She hadn’t thought about him since right before her shift when she slammed back a shot in the bar. Being the owner’s daughter had some perks – even if they were few and far between.

  Why did he have to show up right then? On one of the days when she felt like shit and had to look it? Her heart ached. She’d never stopped loving him and suddenly there he was? She must be going into shock or something, because her pulse sped up and she broke out in a fine film of perspiration.

  Stop lying, Kelsey, you’re sweating like one of those truck drivers!

  Leaving the pit, she crossed over the brick red carpeting and slipped into the discreet metal door marked with a small plaque reading, “Employees Only”. Concrete stairs ate up her footfalls as she bounded down the steps to the lower break room. She just needed to get her head on straight.

  Ronan James. The man had a way of sinking his teeth in and never letting go. In six years, one failed marriage, and more stress than she cared to think about, Kelsey still couldn’t get him out of her head… or heart.

  Damn men, anyway.

  Maybe she’d see if anyone was in her dad’s office. He always kept a bottle of spirits under his desk. He’d never know if she nipped some for her cup o’joe.

  Or more…

  ~~~

  Rubbing lotion in her hands as she made her way back to the pit, Kelsey didn’t even bother scanning the place. Why should she? She didn’t care about the twilight regulars and her vision from before had been a hallucination manifested from long nights and days with little to no sleep. She’d been there more than once.

  She curved her lips reassuringly at Todd when she let herself through the small wooden gate separating the gamblers from the dealers. “Okay, thanks, I needed that. Where do you want me?” Please, roulette. Nobody stayed for long at the table and regulars hated it. There was no “skill” and it was all chance. Poor fools. All gambling was chance. Or house tipping the scales. Hell, Kelsey could’ve sworn her dad weighted the wheel, but she’d never been able to prove it.

  Come on, roulette.

  “How about roulette? You mentioned you wanted it earlier. Plus, Candy is getting bugged by a few regulars and she’s too nice to tell them where to stick it.” He glanced at his clipboard, maintaining a bland expression. “We both know you’re good at telling guys where to shove it, right?” He didn’t wait for an answer but turned to yell at another card table. “Hands down, count the call.”

  Kelsey shrugged. He’d picked up on her cues at least.

  She tapped Candy’s shoulder, just beneath her bobbed blonde hair highlighted with a pink swath. “Girl, I’m taking your place. Talk to Todd about where you’re going, ‘kay?” She backed up as Candy did the same hand clearing with the cameras and stepped away.

  Inside the square beside the long table, Kelsey shot a cool smile around to the five men who eyed her chest in the slightly lower button-up shirt and black vest – the female dealer uniform. A man on the end nudged his friend and murmured loud enough for the table to hear. “Hank, this one’s got boobs and she’s the real deal.”

  Oh, fun. Drunk-perverted-bigots. Her favorite kind. She arched her eyebrow. “I’ve got boobs that are the real deal? As opposed to what’s in your pants?”

  Over the loud guffaws shooting around the table, Kelsey calmly said. “Make your bets, gentlemen. I don’t wait long.” She shifted her stance and watched as they placed chips on different squares and numbers. She didn’t really care what they did or bet on. She didn’t like bastards who tried to make her feel less than what she was. While she was of the proud Salish tribe, they were lowly unknown-origin-bastards, not fit enough to lick her shoes. Her grandfather was an elder of the tribe and they were what? Drunks.

  Ignoring the fact that she drank a lot, Kelsey at least was able to admit to herself that she’d never let them know she begrudged them their white skin and pale eyes. Her life would be extremely different, if she’d only been born with different genetics.

  “All bets in.” She spun the wheel and dropped the ball.

  Quietly, the man who had made his rude comments tapped the wooden side rail as the ball whirred round and round. He spoke as if just making a random comment. “Red-skinned bitches can get their mouths sewn shut, if they’re not careful.” His eyes burned with loathing. “Isn’t that how you savages like it? Rough?”

  From behind him, a dark velvety voice made everyone at the table freeze. “Threatening cowards can have their balls cut off, if they’re not careful.”

  The man spun, facing the mirage Kelsey could have sworn she’d concocted. But there he was. His shoulders broad, his jaw hard.

  His eyes.

  His damn eyes!

  Even remembered every night in her dreams, they captivated her.

  Even in the dim lighting of the casino and under the protection of the wide brim of his hat, his eyes exuded a magnetic resonance that pulled at her insides. Her heart pumped a little faster and moisture licked at her palms.

  Damn.

  “You need something, mister?” The bigot balled his fists at his sides, pushing his butt on the table.

  Ronan lifted his chin once, eyeing the man like a pile of dog shit. “Yes. I need you to get the hell out of here.” He leaned forward, into the man’s personal space. The brim of Ronan’s hat touched the man’s forehead. “Tell you what. You leave… now… and I won’t chase your ass with my pistol. Do you understand me?” So much more than threats passed between them. A covenant of what would come. For good measure, Ronan’s weapon peeked from the inner belt under his suit coat.

  The man didn’t cast a glance toward his friends. He darted from his spot to the doors.

  Kelsey didn’t spare another thought for him. She watched Ronan claim the now-empty position, waiting for him to acknowledge her.

  But he didn’t – at least right away.

  He studied the wheel. Calculated the varying bets. Eyed the other gamblers.

  And then finally, after what could have been three lifetimes, his eyes met hers. And his lips curved into that damn smile that had melted her underwear way back when. “Kelsey Redbird. Some exciting job you have.”

  She lifted her chin. Hell would melt her shoes before she’d admit she was shocked he was there. She wet her lower lip and drawled. “If you only knew.”

  Chapter 3

  Oh, but Ronan did know. Of course, Kelsey would be hotter than when they’d dated. She’d grown into her thin height with soft, molded female curves. The cinnamon tone of her skin glowed in the low lighting. Damn woman even had her hair down the way he’d always liked, the dark edges of her layers flipping here and there.

  If Ronan weren’t careful, he’d remember how much he’d wanted her, loved her, needed her.

  He had fiddled with a few chips he’d bought while waiting for her to return from what must have been a break.

  He was so glad he’d waited. Ronan couldn’t look away from the almond shape of her dark eyes and thick lashes. Everything about Kelsey screamed woman, especially her strong Native American heritage his parents had objected to.

  The four men stood around, waiting for the ball to find its spot.

  Kelsey leaned over, calling out the winning combination. “Red-twenty-one. No winners.” Raking up the last of their chips, she watched them turn and grumble as they stumbled from the casino area. She waved. “Since you’re all losers, I suggest you follow your friend and don’t come back.”

  She didn’t face Ronan. Instead, she busied herself by cleaning up the chips from the table and rearranging the tools at her spot.

  Drawing out the silence between them, Ronan didn’t move from his position. He took perverse p
leasure in her discomfort, maybe because he couldn’t stop fuming over how the douche bag had just treated her. Or the fact that his desire for her – and maybe his feelings for her – had never faded.

  Another moment passed and Ronan peered closer at Kelsey. Surprised to see her jaw tight and her eyes with an extra sheen to them, he leaned forward. “I’m sorry, Kelsey. I forgot how that shit gets to you.” And why wouldn’t it? They’d just slandered her in her own work place. Anger swelled in his chest. “I’m tempted to chase their asses down and teach them what a true savage would do.”

  She huffed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, ‘cause the good-ole-perfect-Ronan-James knows how to be a ‘savage’, right? Your mommy and daddy know you’re slumming it, white boy?”

  He froze. The alcohol he’d consumed had burned off on his hour-and-a-half drive up to the Salish reservation in a dang taxi. A taxi. Okay, so it was more like he’d called one of his ranch hands to drive him up, but still, it might as well be a damn taxi. Ronan had sat in the back with all kinds of planned scenarios running through his mind.

  Her bluntly mentioning his parents hadn’t been one of them.

  “What? Did you swallow your tongue or something?” Kelsey tilted her head, thrusting her jaw to the side. The move cast the strong angles of her cheeks, nose, and chin into startling contrast which only enhanced the beauty of her features. She became strikingly attractive in her moment of defiance.

  Which irritated Ronan further. He dropped his stack of chips on the sidebar of the table, leaned his hands on the curved edge and bit out. “My parents have been dead for a few years, Ms. Redbird. Thank you.” He turned.

  Speaking with her brother in the bar had brought his guilt to the forefront. He’d never had such an extreme reaction to alcohol before where his emotions ran along the melancholy and his plans tore through his memories. Maybe with the destruction of his reality via the truths told to him by MacAllister about Bethany and the abortions, his sentimental side was having its way with him.

  Maybe the return of Robbie MacAllister, as well as the happy little couple the doctor and Slate MacAllister had become, worked on him. Revealing how truly lonely his soon-to-be-ex-bitch-of-a-wife had made him.

  No matter. His lesson from the whole thing would be to stay away from alcohol. He obviously couldn’t control its effects.

  His driver would be outside waiting, or had better be. If Ronan found his ass in the casino after he was —

  A hand gripped his bicep and Ronan paused, lowering his foot mid-step. He looked over his shoulder directly into Kelsey’s deep brownish black eyes. Regret lowered her voice and she released her hold on his arm. “I’m sorry for your loss, Ronan. I didn’t mean… well, I did mean to disrespect you, but had I known, I certainly wouldn’t have done it that way.” She offered a sad side smile. “Did Amelia take it hard?”

  He shifted his stance, not allowing her to move away. “I don’t know. She doesn’t live with me. She’s staying with the MacAllisters. Has a kid with Robbie.” Disgust curdled in his stomach, but whether it was for himself or the situation he couldn’t quite figure out. His strong animosity toward Robbie had shifted when Robbie had offered so much to Ronan the night before – the truth and a way to fix what Bethany worked to destroy.

  Kelsey blinked, long and hard, followed by a quick succession of rapid blinks. When she finally spoke, she pierced him with her gaze. “What? Amelia had a baby? I…” She clamped her mouth shut and swallowed, dropping her gaze to his neckline. The barest shake of her head and then she said. “Th-that’s great. Congratulate her for me, will you? I think I’m done for the night.” She nodded once his way and pushed past him, not even stopping as a large portly man called after her from the pit.

  Unsure what his role had been in the emotional turmoil he’d just witnessed, Ronan’s next step wasn’t clear. Which pissed him off. He liked being in charge, preferred it actually.

  ~~~

  Ronan didn’t wait around to see if Kelsey would seek him out. He had bigger issues on his saddle than what upset her. No, he didn’t have any idea what had happened to her that made her so emotional, but hell if he’d feel guilty over something he didn’t do, or didn’t intend to do.

  Sighing, he had to admit to himself that he cared more than he wanted to, felt guilty over whatever he’d done to upset her. Sometimes he could be an asshole – he knew this. Worked at it, actually.

  He moved silently across the plush carpet to the revolving doors opposite the casino, closer to the restaurant. He’d asked his driver to park the car and wait for him. The parking lot swung around to the side in a large L-shape.

  His breath gusted white as he breathed into the near-freezing night air. Ronan searched the lot for his car. He’d asked the ranch hand to leave the truck at home and bring his more comfortable, classier ride, a nineteen-forty Marmon-Herrington Ford four-by-four Woodie Wagon. He collected badass cars and the Woodie was nothing but scary and old-school mean. He’d probably drive the beautiful car home, since he didn’t have any alcohol onboard anymore.

  The doors turned behind him and Kelsey spilled into the evening. Tears streaked her face and she had yanked her hair into a sloppy bun atop her crown since she’d left him. She teetered on the top step, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.

  Ronan reached out, grabbing her at the last possible second before she tumbled down the numerous cement steps to the pavement below. She fell into his arms, struggling as he enfolded her against his chest. Even as tall as she was, as regal as she always held herself, the exact moment her forehead tucked under his chin, Ronan returned to the afternoon so many years ago when he’d broken things off between them… and the tears she’d shed then.

  She’d curled into his arms then, too. Heartbroken, they’d both comforted each other, but Ronan had already begun to pull away. He’d hardened himself against the pain not being with her caused. And why shouldn’t he? He would have lost Lacey Caverns, if he stayed with her. His dad always kept good on his promises.

  Breathing in her personal perfume, Ronan couldn’t believe it’d been years since he’d seen her, held her, talked with her. For the space of two heartbeats, if he could’ve gone back in time and reversed his decision to follow his parents and be with Kelsey, he would’ve.

  But then he remembered where he was, and who he was, and most importantly, who he was with.

  With over-exaggerated care, Ronan set Kelsey away from him, steadying her with an arm at her elbow. He ducked his head to see under her bent head. “Are you going to be alright? Can I do anything to help you?”

  She peered at the lot, searching up and down the driveway. She groaned. “No, thank you. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be just fine.” She grabbed the railing set far enough to the side it was more of a hindrance than a help and staggered down the steps.

  What exactly did Ronan have to do to get her to accept his help?

  Chapter 4

  Like Kelsey would bother Ronan by asking for his help. He seemed so damned standoffish, like even asking if she was alright was an inconvenience. Well, that was fine with her. She hadn’t made it where she was by meeting up with pitying people from her past.

  Ugh. Why couldn’t her brother be where he was supposed to be, when he was supposed to be there? He’d said something about going into Colby to see a guy, but that was hours ago.

  She gripped the cold railing, her face hot from the realization that she’d just cried in Ronan’s arms… again. Why couldn’t she be cool and classy and leave him with an image of her as strong and statuesque? Instead of a blubbering mess?

  The bottom step disappeared. At least that would be her story when she told anyone why her ass was suddenly on the ground. “What the hell?” How much had she had to drink?

  Strong arms wrapped around her waist, helping her to her feet when she wasn’t even sure she wanted up yet. So the assistance irritated her. Maybe she wanted to sit there while waiting for her ride. Kelsey didn’t look at Ronan’s face. She didn’t want to s
ee his derision or, worse, his pity.

  “Thanks.” She muttered, pushing away from him and dusting off her backside.

  “I have a driver. We could drop you home, it’s not a problem.” He touched her back and Kelsey jumped.

  “You have a driver…” Kelsey licked her bottom lip, digging in her backpack for the small, hotel-sized vodka bottle. She always brought one with her for an after-shift drink. “Um, you know, it’s okay. I’m sure —”

  “There he is now.” He guided her toward a large wagon-style vehicle with exterior wooden paneling that gleamed in the night lights from the casino.

  She couldn’t pull away from his hold as she stared transfixed at the beautiful deep teal Woodie. She’d only ever seen one on a calendar in her dad’s office. He’d once claimed to have driven one, but that wasn’t confirmed.

  Ronan opened the rear passenger-side door, motioning for her to climb in. With her hand still stuck in her bag, she stepped into the car, taking in as much of the interior as possible. Settling on the far side of the leather bench seat, she removed her hand from her pack and trailed it over the smooth windowsill. “Did you have this restored?”

  The seat bent his way as he took the spot beside her and closed the door. “Yes. Isn’t she beautiful? She’s my favorite. I only take this one out of town because she’s built for comfort, not work.” He tapped the back of the driver’s seat and the car pulled forward. “Go ahead, Smith.” Ronan turned toward her. “She’s too gorgeous to leave in the garage.”

  “Yeah, I agree.” She breathed. Uncomfortable under his gaze, she straightened her shoulders. “Why are you up this way, Ronan? Slumming it?” Her same insult from before, but when she was around him, she couldn’t think properly. Pulling out a good retort or witty comment took more brain cells than she had when he was within arms’ reach.