Sorrows and Lace Read online

  Hat off and in his lap, he ran his fingers through his deep sandy blond hair. “Okay, I’ll take that one. Yes, I’m out of my element up here. I don’t come onto the reservation often. I never have.”

  “Do you remember where my parents live?” She clenched her nails into her palm. How embarrassing for him to know she had to move back in with Mom and Dad. The ex-boyfriend was the last person anyone would want to find out about their less-than-successful situation. Dang!

  He glanced sharply at her. “Yes. Is that where we’re taking you?” At her slight nod, he again leaned forward and spoke softly to the man driving. “Smith, in three streets take the next right and then drive to the end of the road. About ten miles or so.”

  The man nodded and Ronan returned to a more comfortable position.

  Kelsey shifted in her seat. How the hell had she ended up in Ronan James’s car at four in the morning? Reality didn’t work like that for her. She waited for the negative shit to start piling on. Maybe they’d get in a wreck. Or he’d try to attack her. Or maybe her ex-husband would show up and kill them all. She felt like some Indian Cinderella except the prince wasn’t willing to chase over the kingdom looking for her.

  She glanced at Ronan and jolted. He stared at her. And she had no idea how long he’d been doing that. Nervously, she rubbed her neck, leaving her hand cupped at the nape.

  He rested his arm on his leg and shifted to face her more. “I’d like to apologize for that jerk back there. He was extremely insensitive and I’m sorry he made you so upset.”

  Made her upset? She blinked at him, her anxiety dripping away with each second. “The bigot in the casino?” At his nod Kelsey said. “Oh.”

  Quirking his eyebrow, Ronan asked. “Oh? Isn’t he why you were crying? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone that upset. Well, except for Amelia. But ever since she had her son, it seems like she’s one big emotional rollercoaster. So who knows?” He shrugged.

  Tears welled in Kelsey’s eyes. She held up her hand, fingers flat and tight together to ward off his reaching hand. “No, I’m fine. I’m tired and emotional. You just keep bringing up that your sister had a baby.” She glanced out the window, throat tight. He didn’t say anything, for which she was grateful, but it also made her feel obligated to confess more. “I was married for a while…” She couldn’t face Ronan. She’d always hoped she’d spend her life with him, but reality didn’t follow fantasy. “Anyway, he wasn’t the best of guys, and I wasn’t allowed to keep my pregnancies.” She didn’t have a better way to explain the circumstances without going into deep detail or at least grittier description.

  “Did he make you have an abortion or something?” Ronan’s jaw ticked, his hands clenching on his lap.

  His reaction startled Kelsey and she spoke without softening the facts. “No, he beat me until I miscarried. Twice. I was only six weeks or so along, so…” She put her hand on her stomach, remembering the punches and the kicks to her soft middle. She offered a small smile. “I always wanted babies.” She peered hard at him. “But you knew that.”

  On their third date to a football game pep-rally, she’d seen a baby and had gushed over his chubby little cheeks. Ronan, laughing, had pulled her close. She’d talked about having a big family the rest of the night.

  His features tight, Ronan acquiesced with the barest of nods. “I did know that.”

  Already worn out from more than a few late nights and double shifts, Kelsey shakily chuckled, pressing a hand to her cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s more than you wanted to know when you offered me a ride. So, back to my question, R.J., why are you here on the reservation so late? Or is it early?”

  “Right. I didn’t answer you. I’m sorry.” He lifted his ankle and rested it across his opposite knee, relaxed in the large old vehicle. “I ran into Big Red at the Colby Saloon. He mentioned you and what you were doing nowadays. I admit, when I headed up this way, I had purely business in mind, but…” He turned his wrist to spread his fingers. “Circumstances aren’t what I had pictured them to be. So, I need to reassess.” He leaned over and whispered. “Next time, I’ll wait to make a trip until I’m sober. I have extremely insane ideas when I drink.”

  Captured by the intensity of his brown eyes, Kelsey took a moment to reply. “What kind of business would you have with the Salish? We own our land.” The reservation received many kickbacks as a backwards apology from the government for essentially wiping out an entire people and culture – all Native Americans across the states suffered from that. Ronan was a banker and businessman, he dealt in loans on land and businesses, nothing any of the Salish would have anything to do with him for.

  “Sir? Is this the residence for the young lady?” The driver turned partway in his seat and pointed toward the sprawling rancher and lawn separating the house from the drive.

  Ronan glanced out the window and then jerked to an easier position to exit the car. He rounded the back of the Woodie and opened Kelsey’s door, speaking low as she stepped out. “I think your dad is coming outside.”

  Kelsey followed his gaze to the front deck where her father was, in fact, stepping down the stairs and heading toward them. Dark red anger colored his skin. His lips were pressed thin under eyes hooded with a furrowed brow. Confusion warred with the vodka fresh in her system.

  Fear won out over everything.

  Grabbing Ronan’s hands, Kelsey pleaded quickly. “No matter what, don’t say a word. Don’t even move.” She left him there and rushed around the wagon to intercept her dad. A hand on his arm, and Kelsey spoke brightly. “Hi Dad.” He didn’t like white men and still blamed the family’s problems on her marrying the Caracus dickhead.

  Finger pointing toward Heaven, her dad stopped mid-stride and glared at her, ignoring the classic vehicle and two men with it. His gravelly voice trembled with rage. “Don’t ‘Hi, Dad’ me. You left work without clearing it with Todd first? This is the final straw, Kelsey. You’ve brought shame on the Redbird name more times than your mother or I can bear. You have ten minutes to gather your things and get out. Out.”

  He returned to the front door. Once there, he waited off to the side and held the door open while staring at the silver wristwatch on his arm.

  Unable to breathe after her father had all but sucker-punched her in the gut, Kelsey didn’t look at Ronan. She pointed down her drive and stared at the ground when she turned to face him. “Thank you for the ride. Please, go.” And then she ran inside and down the hall. Kelsey passed her mother who sipped her coffee and intently ignored the goings-on of the house.

  But Kelsey refused to wail and scream like she wanted. She’d always been a disgrace to her family. She’d adamantly attended a white school, dated white boys, worked off-reservation, and then married one of the most dangerous men she could. When Kelsey Redbird rebelled, she did it with superhuman stubbornness.

  Throwing her luggage on the bed, she threw her stuff inside as fast as she could. Her belongings didn’t amount to much. In fact, they took less than three minutes to rustle together.

  She used the extra time to sit on the edge of her childhood bed and stare bleakly at the floor. Where the hell was she going to go? She had no money, most likely no job, no place to stay. If her ex-husband found her, she’d be dead, too.

  What the hell was she going to do?

  Chapter 5

  Drama seemed to follow Kelsey around like iron filings to a magnet.

  Ronan couldn’t understand how she’d gotten into such a mess. She’d always been honest to a fault and kind with a ton of sass.

  Even though she said to go, there was no way he was leaving her there when she was being kicked out. Where would she go? He assumed she didn’t have a car because he just gave her a ride home from work.

  He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. The lack of sleep and alcohol binge he’d gone on was catching up to him.

  The screen door creaked. Kelsey’s dad leaned through the opening to bellow into the home that was apparently classier t
han the owners. “Your time is up. Get out!”

  A few seconds passed and Kelsey appeared. Eyes downcast and a suitcase in either hand, she didn’t speak to her father as she walked by and down the stairs. She stopped when she spotted Ronan, shame and sadness sparking in her eyes. “Go. You don’t need to be here. I don’t want you here.”

  Her dad disappeared inside and then rushed back out the front door, calling after her. “Girl! You forgot your damn addiction. Don’t leave this stuff in my house.” He waved three vodka bottles by their necks. Not even reaching her, he tossed the alcohol into the grass at her feet. “When you get yourself together and resolve the things going on, you’re welcome back here. But not until then. You’re not going to put us in danger any longer.” He turned on the toe of his slipper and left his daughter on the lawn.

  Disgust lifted Ronan’s lip in a sneer as he watched the man leave. Not giving her father another thought, he turned to Kelsey. “Do you have a car?” He moved beside her and claimed one of her light cases.

  She shook her head, rosy cheeks suggesting embarrassment had reached her list of top emotions.

  “Come on.” He tugged on her wrist, pulling her toward the car. “Let’s go get something to eat and see if we can come up with a solution.”

  But he’d already planned one – where he offered her everything.

  All she had to do was go along with the terms he would set forth – similar to the ones Robbie had set forth to him, but with more in it for Ronan. More in it for Kelsey. What his parents had taken away so long ago, Ronan might just be able to restore. He’d missed Kelsey for so long the possibility of a future, even just a business one, held more appeal than he could explain.

  ~~~

  The small café crouched just outside the Salish reservation boundaries. Its straw-colored roofing and cement block walls tried depicting an old-style cottage but succeeded in appearing incomplete and roughed in.

  Ronan wiped off the plastic covering of the menu before opening it to study its contents. If he ate something in the dingy place, he’d be surprised if he survived.

  “Where’d you send your driver?” Kelsey sipped at the coffee the waitress served only moments before.

  “Hopefully to drink something caffeinated so he can drive us back to my place.” He answered offhandedly, forgetting for a moment that he hadn’t even mentioned his plans to her.

  She stiffened, her elbows on the table holding her drink to her mouth. Slowly, she lowered her mug to sit beside her place setting. “I’m not going from my dad’s place to your bed, Ronan. That’s just crazy. I’m not an easy lay.” Eyebrows drawn tight, her eyes seemed to boil with righteous indignation.

  He set the menu down to his side and crossed his arms over his chest. Watching her work herself into a fury had always been a huge turn-on for him. And while the moment had more important issues at the forefront, he couldn’t help remembering how she’d kissed and held him so long ago.

  And he’d never forget Slate trying to move in on Kelsey as soon as she was single.

  Digging his fingers into the sides of his thighs, Ronan smiled politely at the woman across from him. At that point, he’d better get his ideas out, or she’d become belligerent. “I never mentioned getting you into bed.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, bringing a small smile to her lips. “But since you’re the first to mention it, I’ll consider your offer.” He winked. “All kidding aside, you asked me what my business was on the Salish reservation. Well, it’s you.” He watched her reaction. If nothing else, Kelsey had the most expressive café au lait features he’d ever had the pleasure of coming across. Even when she wasn’t speaking, every thought and emotion could be read on her face.

  “Me?” Suddenly devoid of expression, she calmly twirled a spoon between her fingers, watching it and not him.

  “Is that a question?” Ronan needed her to be all in. She couldn’t only half listen. Having been up all night, she had to be tired. Hell, he knew he was.

  Setting the spoon down and making a muted clunk on the laminated table, Kelsey pointedly focused on him. “Yes, Ronan, that is a question. But it’s also a statement, because quite honestly, I haven’t heard from you in what can only be described as forever, and I find it more than ludicrous that you one day finished dinner and decided to go into town. You spoke with my brother and got a hair up your ass to come find me. So, yes, it is a question, but more than that it’s disbelief.” She delivered the biting words with ill-concealed sarcasm.

  “Since we’re both being honest right now, I think it’s only fair to tell you that diatribe turned me on.” Ronan watched her, waiting for a reaction. She didn’t even blink. Fine. He’d get her attention and shock her and then he’d know one way or the other if she’d even be receptive to his absolutely-random-and-yet-so-necessary offer. Plus, full disclosure and honesty with Kelsey had always been the way he did things. Even when the truth hurt. “I didn’t think I’d still feel this way around you. It’s been what? Five years or so. And I still think you’re sexy as hell.” He leaned his forearms on the table and pushed his face closer to her. “Admit it, you still want me.”

  Her breath hitched. The telling sign of her breasts suspended in their up-and-down breathing route more than enough indication he’d caught her attention. He snapped his gaze to her face. Pink tinged her skin an even warmer tone and Ronan wanted to whoop up and down the small parking lot outside.

  With her sitting across from him, blushing at his words, it was like she’d never left.

  Like he’d never listened to his damn parents.

  Like he hadn’t married that bitch Bethany.

  Like Kelsey had never been abused.

  He claimed his chance as she was still arrested in the moment. “I hope you still want me. Or are at least interested enough to listen to my proposal. I want to marry you. No, I need to marry you. Wanting can come later. We can return to what we had, maybe? I don’t know. But here’s what’s going on.” Ronan leaned back to give her space to listen and to let himself breathe. Damn, her new lilac scent drove him nuts. When did she change that?

  The waitress showed up right then, holding her pad of paper and pen aloft, she licked her worn lipstick. “What’ll it be, kids?”

  Kids? Ronan and Kelsey’s gazes met. Kids. Ronan picked up the menus and offered them to the server. “We’d each like the Rancher’s Omelet with the Mexican Potatoes, waffles for me and – is it still whole wheat toast, Kelsey?” She nodded and he continued. “Whole wheat toast for the lady, please. Coffee for each of us as well as some orange juice and a side of strawberries for the waffles, please. Thank you.” He winked at the woman who grinned toothily before walking away.

  “Psh. That was crazy.” Kelsey sat back in her seat and stared openly at Ronan.

  “What?” Watching Kelsey never grew tiring. But she wasn’t there for a date.

  She shook her head. “I can’t believe you remembered what I like. That’s just…”

  “Crazy?” Ronan shrugged. “It’s not like I’ve been out sleeping around. I’ve been married and she’s… well, is it okay to say that she’s been more of a whore than a wife?” A dry laugh escaped him. His whorish wife, like some bad cable-only movie. “I didn’t expect much from her when we got married, but she surpassed even my already low opinion of her.”

  “Why’d you marry her then?” True quizzical curiosity had Kelsey leaning toward him.

  He shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable with the topic. “Because she was ideal as far as my parents were concerned.”

  “Ah. Right, mom and dad.” Kelsey leaned back, a smug smirk used to cover her easily seen pain. She stared at the edge of the table in silence for a moment. Then she pierced Ronan with her dark hazelnut gaze. “You realize you asked me to marry you, right? At least that’s what that sounded like. Is that what you’re doing? Asking me?”

  “I don’t know. We’re both so tired at this point, I’d like to think that we need to get some rest before I just dump all this information on yo
u, but you don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t want to leave you stranded.” He twisted the edge of the napkin tighter and tighter. “My brother-in-law, Robbie MacAllister – you know him and his brother – gave me an opportunity to keep my land intact but it requires me finding a wife.”

  “You have a wife. Everyone knows about the beautiful Mrs. James.” Kelsey’s palpable bitterness cast a shadow over their table. Not that they were caked in sunshine to begin with.

  He nodded. “True, I have a wife. For the next few days. Let’s just say the existing wife broke the pre-nuptials in a huge way as well as tried ruining my chances for children. Needless to say, I need a wife to help me keep my property and to continue my line. I went the rich-bitch route before and I’d like to try a different path, this time.”

  Squinting, Kelsey screwed up her lips. “You mean, all I have to do is marry you? That doesn’t seem too bad.”

  The waitress plunked a carafe of orange juice and two glasses on the table. Kelsey waited until she’d left before reaching into her purse and pulling out a travel-sized bottle of vodka. She poured it in her coffee, the entire bottle glub-glubbing as she held it over the black liquid.

  Lifting the cup, she didn’t even blow the steam to help cool it off. Closing her eyes, she drank what she could before putting it down. “When are you thinking this will take place?”

  Elation filled him. She was going to consider it. “Honestly, we need to be married in the next week or so.”

  “In the next week or so?” Kelsey waited for his nod. She reached inside her purse and pulled out another bottle which she drained straight into her mouth. “Wow, you don’t mess around.” She waved her hand back and forth in front of her face. “I’m sorry. I’m a little shocked. This is a lot to take in, you know?”

  The waitress arrived, arms full of dishes. Kelsey tapped her empty placemat and peered at Ronan. “Let’s talk about this when we’ve had something to eat. I feel like it might not be real.”